Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
