i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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