Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
