One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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