You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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