To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
