So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
