he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
