Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
