how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
how do you play pong handcuffed?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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