I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
