It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
