sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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