i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
