Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
