I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
