Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
