i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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