were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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