I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
