Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize