i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
