Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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