the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
