We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
