And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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