ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
