By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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