I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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