Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My dick has a subreddit
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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