Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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