i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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