How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
