an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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