I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This baby is an asshole
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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