they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
