So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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