If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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