what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
