the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
