WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
