what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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