I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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