So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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