just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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