Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
