that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
