that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
