No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
