Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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