yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
