i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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