every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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