I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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