we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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