thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
