I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
