Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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