I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize