I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
