Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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