Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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