Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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