Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Reggie can tackle my bush.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
