her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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