oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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