do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
