I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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