Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
