I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
