I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
