he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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