If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
