I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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