god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize